Who did that personality test say I'm supposed to be?

Lately I've been compiling all the personality and leadership profiles I've ever taken, as well as taking a few more, just to be sure I know exactly who I am.

THE RESULTS

• Strengthsfinder 2.0 (2014):  Restorative - Responsibility - Harmony - Belief - Connectedness
• Your Unique Design (2013):  Harmonizer - Persister - Achiever - Dreamer - Energizer - Catalyzer
• StandOut (2012):  Advisor - Connector
• Strengthsfinder (2005): Responsibility - Activator - Belief - Harmony - Relator
• Myers-Briggs (2001):  ESTJ (Extrovert - Sensing - Thinking - Judging)
• Tim LaHaye Temperament Analysis (2001):  Choleric - Melancholy

WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?

Apparently I enjoy leading people, being a resource, and networking. I tend to be responsible and can get things done. I'm not a huge fan of using my imagination or dreaming up new things, but tend to thrive when I'm in more of an implementation role than a creative one. I like harmony and can be a people-pleaser, which can get me in trouble sometimes if I'm not careful. But in general I tend to use my past experiences and my network of connections to hopefully further the kingdom. And I'm having a blast doing it!

THE GOOD

These tests are very useful in that they help us understand who we are, how God created (or wired) us, and shed light on how we relate to others. They help us know how to deal with different people, and help other people know how to deal with us. They can even tell us careers where we will thrive and ones we should avoid.

I took the StandOut assessment about two years ago after hearing Marcus Buckingham speak at Catalyst. It's become my favorite assessment because it somehow is able to tell who other people see you to be as a leader. I answered all the questions and then waited an eternity (30 seconds) to receive my results. They nailed it! As I read the analysis, I identified with just about everything it said. Since taking it, I've been able to refer back many times, and have found it quite helpful in keeping me focused on where I lead best.

THE PROBLEM

There is no assessment or analysis that can completely evaluate the whole person. They will all fall short in one way or another. God knit us together so uniquely and in His image. (Psalm 139) Because we are fallen people, there's no way we can use human systems to completely define how God made us. I recently had a fun conversations with two friends, Sarah and Jen. Sarah is exactly like me according to the Myers-Briggs. Jen is exactly like me according to Your Unique Design. The problem: Sarah and Jen are nothing alike at all! The logic of "If A=B and B=C then A=C" doesn't work here. It just goes to show that no one test is able to define the entire person. God does that. He defines who we are.

Sometimes these assessments don't leave room for the Holy Spirit to do a redeeming work in our lives. Results of a test are static and represent who we are at a moment in time, but our lives are dynamic and in a constant state of change. As a child of God and one that's filled with the Holy Spirit, I should be constantly growing and changing into someone more conformed to His image. As I change and grow, the assessment that I took five years ago may no longer reflect who I am today.

We can become pigeonholed by an assessment. We may think we are unable to perform certain tasks because an assessment told us we couldn't do them well. People in leadership over us may not give us certain opportunities because the assessment told them that we weren't any good in that area. We end up missing out on potential growth simply because the assessment said we couldn't do it well. 

The other day I was in an office where each employee had their assessment displayed on their office door. It makes a great conversation starter and I like being able to get a quick picture of who each person is, but it also can predispose me to a certain judgment of that person and who that assessment tells me they're going to be.

WHAT DOES SCRIPTURE TEACH?

Scripture clearly teaches that God has given us certain gifts (1 Corinthians 12:8-10) and that we are to exercise those gifts for the common good (v7). We also learn about the Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5), character traits and actions that can pretty much only be performed through the power of God's Spirit working in and through us.

And yet there's this one thing that I can't help but keep coming back to: "God's power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12) When Paul was given the thorn in the flesh, he told us that it was "to keep me from becoming conceited..."(v7) No matter how much he begged God to take this weakness away, God allowed it to stay in order that God might get the glory, not Paul. 

I believe that strengths assessments in particular can lend themselves to giving us the glory through things that we're good at, as opposed to God receiving the glory through things that don't make sense in our wisdom. Granted, God gave us those particular strengths; and yet, through the flesh, it can become easy for each of us to take credit, as opposed to offering thanks for the good work He does through us. Contrast that with times where God uses us through our weaknesses. It is in those moments where God can't help but get the glory, because it's something that was obviously impossible for us to accomplish through our own flesh.

PERSONAL APPLICATION

My life tends to be a testimony of God working through weakness; and there have been plenty of opportunities for that. The greatest of these has been the loss of our daughter almost four years ago. Through the darkest and hardest days, God's grace and mercy clearly shined through to our family, and hopefully to all those around us. I've been reminded by many of how much God used Elyse's life and death to draw them closer to Him. This is something that never could have happened through a strength or leadership gift. This was 100% a work of the Holy Spirit.

And then there are the times I've fallen short through my flesh. Even through my sin and past mistakes, however, God shows Himself faithful because of His deep grace, redemption and conquering of the sin and struggles. By sharing those struggles with others, I see Him give encouragement and draw them closer to Him. He is faithful to use everything for is glory!  

I would challenge anyone reading these words to consider today all the tests you've taken, all the ways God's wired you, the strengths and weaknesses that supposedly define you, and lay those at the cross. Take the tests, learn from them, follow their advice... but don't let them define you! You are defined by Christ. You are made in God's image. Allow Him to mould you, to change you, to use you. Allow Him, not only through your strengths, but especially through your weaknesses, to use you. It's in those moments where you will see God doing "abundantly more than we could ever ask or think." (Ephesians 3:20)  And the result will be... 

"... to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations, 

forever and ever. Amen."  

Ephesians 3:21

10 1/2 Months

During this coming week, Titus will be the same age that Elyse was when she passed away... 10 1/2 months. This is a number that has been impressed on our hearts for the last 2 1/2 years. Anytime we talk of her passing, we can't help but mention this number.

So now this number also belongs to Titus. Every parent I've ever talked to that has lost a child and then has more to follow really can't wait to get past this monument. It's easy to be filled with the unnecessary and unreasonable fear of potentially losing this child too. And at times it can be almost paralyzing. 

We are now watching as Titus is going through all the same stages where Elyse was at that age, and it's almost exactly on the same timeline she was on.

Elyse playing under the dining room table

Titus loves to play around those exact same chairs.

(Notice Peter reading a story in the background. That boy
will be in Kindergarten in less than a month! I can't believe
how quickly he is growing up.)

     

Titus has just recently started trying to pull himself up. 

This one was taken just a few days before she passed.
She was so proud of herself after pulling herself
up to a standing position on that stairway.

It's almost surreal to be in this spot. A very positive part of it all is that it brings back the most recent memories we have of Elyse, memories that are now almost 2 1/2 years old. When I watch Ty do a certain thing, it totally takes me back to Elyse doing that exact same thing, and that is a very GOOD thing. I pray that those memories will never disappear. 

Yes... it's hard when I think about not being able to have her right there with us... but it's also a very precious thing to carry on those memories.

The bottom line is this: we miss Elyse each and every day, some days more than others; and this stage in Ty's life brings back especially poignant memories. 

Not too long ago, April changed some of the decorations on our living room mantle. As I look at them today, they really do characterize our life as a family. We remember Elyse every day, but we are also reminded every day by her of the HOPE that we have in eternity. Titus is an incredible blessing and has brought us much comfort. 2 Corinthians 7:6 - "But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, ..." And notice the globe in the upper left, with Africa front and center. We look forward (with hope) to the day we get to meet the little girl God has picked out for us over there. (www.facebook.com/careyadoption)

The bottom line: We live today with much hope. We miss our little girl like nothing else, but we truly are blessed. God has provided us three incredible children so far, and with the upcoming adoption... even more. He has given us a great family, the most incredible friends, and continues to provide for every physical need we have.

Would I change anything??? Absolutely! I'd take my little girl back in a heartbeat! But I wouldn't change who I've become as a result of all of this. He has taken me to the deepest and darkest places and has proved Himself to be completely good, faithful and sovereign through it all. He truly is a loving and grace-filled God.

All good things must come to an end

I write this post with both a heavy heart and a lot of excitement. After an amazing 15 year run at Hume Lake Christian Camps, April and I have decided that it's time for a major change, and I will be bringing my full-time service at Hume to a close at the end of this month.

What am I going to do? As of the first of May, I will be assuming a position as Business Manager for Briner and Son, a landscape design and maintenance business here in Fresno owned by April's family. (Yes, I am breaking a major rule I set up years ago and I am going to work for relatives. Not to mention... the in-laws!) For once in my life, I'll actually be putting that Business Major to use. My responsibilities will include H.R., A/P, A/R, I.T., a whole bunch of special projects, and pretty much anything else that needs to be done. It's a growing business and I get to fill a necessary role that will hopefully help them grow even more and become more efficient.

Leaving Hume was a tough decision, one we started putting before the Lord over a year ago. I've always joked that I wanted to leave Hume two years before I got fired, but in all seriousness I believe that I'm leaving with the satisfaction of knowing that God brought me there, grew and matured me, used me in ways I never could have imagined, and now has given me the freedom to head out and be used in an entirely different way.

What will I miss most about Hume? No question, more than anything, it will be the people. It's been called the "H Factor." It's the Hume staff and their families that make up Hume's personality and the core of what makes it so unique. I will miss them more than anything. They have been there for me through the hardest of times and through the best of times. They introduced me to my wife, welcomed my children into the world, and carried me to Jesus as I had to say goodbye to my daughter. They've loved me unconditionally when I really didn't deserve it, and God's used them to mold me into someone a lot better than I was on May 26, 1997, when I pulled into a camp towing a trailer with everything that I owned and stepped into the role of Ponderosa Head Counselor, really having no clue. I'll also miss the many connections I've made with so many youth pastors, getting to encourage them, love on them, challenge them, listen to them. I'll miss being a part of something so much greater than myself.

What do I look forward to? I believe that God has brought me to this place in life "for such a time as this." I'm going to have so many more opportunities to be around people that don't know the Lord and who desperately need Him. I'm excited to be around non-Christians on a regular basis. I'm excited to have my faith challenged, to be a light. And to be perfectly honest, I'm excited for some change. It's easy to get stuck in ruts and be convinced that God can only use you in a certain way.

Do I plan to stay in ministry? Absolutely! That doesn't change. There are some great new opportunities  on the horizon, and while I can't totally explain those in this forum, it's going to be fun to see how they pan out. When will they pan out and what will they look like??? No clue!

What doesn't change? God is good. God is faithful. God is sovereign. I love those three things most about God and I'm excited that I get to serve Him no matter where He has me. God has truly reminded me lately that it's not so much about where I am as it is about who I am. He's called me to follow Him wholeheartedly and to be faithful. From there, He will take care of the rest. I believed that 15 years ago when I came to Hume and I believe that today as I move on. My identity rests in Him, not in where I work or live.

So that's the big news. Be watching for more and please be praying for us. The last two years have been absolutely crazy, and while we would cherish a time of peaceful waters, we realize that's not the road God has us on, so we embrace this road and seek to stay faithful as we travel down it.

Life in the City

We've now lived in Clovis for almost 5 months. It's hard to believe so much time has passed, but it also feels completely normal, as though we've lived here for a year or two. It truly has become home.

Some things I've grown to enjoy as we've transitioned here:

1. Stores - We now have grocery stores, Costco, Starbucks, etc. all within a 10 minute drive. Big change from the 1 1/2 hours we experienced before. (Of course, now it's easier to spend money on things I don't really need.)
2. Family - They're close... really close. April's family all live within a 4 mile radius of our house. It's given us a greater connection and allowed us to be in each others' lives on a pretty regular basis. Yes - that's a good thing!
3. Church - We've really enjoyed attending the Clovis campus of The Well Community Church. We've started to meet new people, and have just enjoyed being a part of that community.
4. Neighbors - We had neighbors at Hume, neighbors that we absolutely loved. But the big difference now is that the majority of our neighbors don't know the Lord and have a desperate need for Him. It's been so cool getting to know Bob & Dorothy, Mark, Jimmy & Cindy, Tim, and so many more. My prayer is that we can get beyond the hellos and goodbyes, and be able to have some significant conversations. 

What do we miss? We miss our friends... deep friends... friends that you just can't find anywhere else. When others moved away from Hume, they warned us.  They told us that we'd never have the same kind of friends as we had there and they were absolutely right. Our friends there walked with us through the darkest days ever and carried us to the Lord when we couldn't carry ourselves. We will forever treasure the friends the Lord gave us there and the depth of those friendships. We keep in touch, but it's just not the same.

Yet here we are, living in the city, and we know that God has called us to be here "for such a time as this." We remember and treasure the past, but live in the now, with a hope for the future, knowing that our citizenship lies in heaven, not in Clovis and not at Hume. So we make every effort to live here, right where God has called us. Yet our ultimate hope is in that one day we will live in eternity with our Lord (and we'll get to see our little girl again) and we'll be able to stop, look around, and know that we are finally home for good.