Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Calm in the Storm

Waves. The analogy has already been given to us several times. Sorrow and hurt will come and go like the crashing waves. We have definitely felt that one. When we got back into Fresno from Monterey, we felt like a major wave of sorrow had just crashed. We were ready for some calm. April's prayer in Monterey on Saturday night was a simple request, "God, could you just show me a glimpse of what you're doing through this?"

Since we wouldn't make it back to Hume in time for church, we decided to attend the 5pm service at The Well. (This is the same place where Elyse's Memorial Service was just a week earlier.) We felt the need to go to church, get some good teaching, and just be around the Body of Christ. Our great friends Jay and Jen would save us seats in the back, as we had to make a quick In-n-Out stop on the way due to near starvation. It was tough to go back to the room that was filled with so much love and support the previous weekend. It was tough to remember the slideshow and the tears, and everything about it, but it was a good tough. We knew that we needed to start going places that had memories of Elyse, and that it was OK to do that. It was OK to move forward. (I say "move forward," not "move on.")

Brad taught from Song of Solomon and Ephesians 6. What would be painted through the sermon was the picture of a good marriage, where the man and woman were living in a right relationship with God and each other, with Christ as the Head, with the man stepping up as the spiritual leader and the woman loving and supporting him in that role. (We'd later laugh about the young lady sitting in front of us that couldn't help but squirm throughout the entire section on Ephesians 6. April wanted to just put her hand on her shoulder and let the poor girl know that it would be OK.) (We'd also laugh about the one behind us that worshiped with her whole heart and voice. Let's just say that Simon Cowell would have had a field day with her.)

But as the sermon developed, Brad taught on what a spiritual leader in the husband looked like, and what the supportive wife looked like. Internally, April and I were both comparing each other to those lists. Later, as we headed home, we began to share what we'd learned, and with joy recounted how thankful we are for each other, for the health of our marriage right now, and for the unity and like-mindedness that we have, especially during this most difficult time in our lives.

As we continued our trip home, we started to talk through the attributes of God that are most apparent to us right now. His goodness. His sovereignty. His faithfulness. We love His faithfulness and cling to it constantly. In the midst of all of this, we are so comforted by the fact that we worship a faithful God that does not give up on us. No, we aren't OK. No, we aren't always at perfect peace. No, we aren't always faithful. But He is!

What an amazing 2 hours of conversation we had coming home Sunday night. We hurt. We mourn. We agonize. But we have a strong marriage and we serve a good and faithful God.

So remember the glimpse April prayed for? On Monday afternoon I'd get a call from a dear friend just letting us know some very specific ways God's been working through our story. I told April all the details, and she just looked at me and said, "A Glimpse!" Praise God for the glimpse!


Sara said...

So grateful for this! Love you guys- Sara

Unknown said...

I cannot imagine. You bless me to the core with your faithfulness to the Lord. I can't imagine a more faithful response to an impossible time--with God, all things are possible, even moving forward through this.

Yvonne said...

Praise the Lord for glimpses!

Swimwife said...

Hi Cliff and April
I am so thankful for you both and what the Lord is doing in and through you. For His glory! Praise the Lord for your marriage! We are always praying.
love you guys